A little afriad

Standing in line at the local grocery store I let my eyes wander. I looked at the rows of candy, my fellow shoppers, the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. Then, despite all efforts to stop, I started looking at the headlines of the tabloids. Same old stuff. "[Insert famous person's name] is [pregnant/using drugs/fat/skinny], and what will happen when [Insert name of former significant other] finds out???" Then my eyes happened across the "TV Guide Magazine"

This is, apparently, a magazine that gives further insight into the complexities of the regular "TV Guide." Something like the Silmarillion only for TV Guide. I think the slogan of the magazine says it all, "Television Made Easy." Whew.