Thursday, January 05, 2006

Smack My Gates Up!

Mr. Bill Gates formally announced Windows Vista, the new installation of Microsoft's operating system, at the 2006 International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. Videos of the new "slick" GUI interface, not to mention illegally leaked alphas, have been floating around the web for ages, so I don't know if this necessarily counts as anything particularly original.

However, there are few things I've noticed about this release that I find more than a little disturbing. The major item is Microsoft and
MTV have joined forces to create "MTV Urge." Imagine the absolute horror of Microsoft Media Player being optimized to deliver MTV content. Crappy MTV content being streamed to your resource hogging, half-broken application. It's not fear-mongering! It's actually going to happen! This is the digital revolution your kids told you about, you rotten bastard!

From a
Sysopt article:
"Gates and company also seized the moment to crow about a recent series of partnerships. A deal with MTV resulted in MTV Urge, an Internet service tied into Windows Media Player and Vista's media library that offers music downloads and related content."

The second item that I find more than a little creepy is the appearance of
Justin Timberlake at the trade show. Apparently, in the middle of his announcement, Gates unfurled a red carpet, donned a glittering turban, and lifted a beaker high over his head. He then proceeded to drink the glowing orange elixir and lay down on the mat, twitching and convulsing. Moments later a break beat of the crappiest sort began to boom from the body of Gates. Timberlake was then lowered down to the stage via a cable and harness while playing an air guitar version of "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC.

Again, I have no idea what this was meant to symbolize, but I have a sneaky suspicion that Gates is planning to unlock the "Gates" hell itself. Vista can literally mean "A distant view or prospect, especially one seen through an opening." Don't you see? Vista is a view of hell! It may not be the real thing, but it is as close an approximation as Bill GATES can summon.

(damn, I missed the internet)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Two words "Apple Computers RULE!"

-Steve Jobs